The Impossible Acquisition of Employment

Being home from college for the summer has it’s perks, but with it also has it’s cons. The major pain in my ass lately has been the hunt for a job. It seems as if no one is hiring, so I spent the first three weeks home getting rejected every day. I finally gave in and applied at The Retail Giant. Two days later, they called me back and asked me to come in that day for an interview. It turned out being two interviews and I was on-deck for another the following revolution around its own axis. I went for that, supposedly, final interview and was offered a job. “Sign here. Click here. Sign here. Initial here. $X.XX OK as a starting wage (like I had a choice, ha!)? Click ‘Accept.’” All that was left was a drug test. I left the store, went across the street, took my drug test, and began to wait for that one week to pass between the time I took my drug test and the time they told me they would have my results.

Tuesday (yesterday) was the end of that one week. I gave The Retail Giant a phone call asking about the status of my drug test and when I could expect to be oriented and trained. “I’m sorry. We have been told to freeze all hiring for a few weeks. We are not employing anyone at this time.” ?!?! I wasn’t asking for an application! It wasn’t like I was just now applying for a job! I had been told that the job was mine “pending the passing of a drug test.” Now, the job isn’t mine? I got laid off/let go before I even started?! Bull.

I called back two hours later and just flat-out asked, “I was given a job as 2nd-shift in-stock a week ago pending passing a drug test. Are the results in and when do I start?” The reply was pissingly hilarious. “You can call back on Thursday to get the results of your test but there has been a freeze on all hiring as of this week.” Basically, I can call The Retail Giant to verify that I have, in fact, been drug free for all 21-years of my life, but to get a job, not gonna be so lucky.

This all (save the “called back two hours later” part) went down 15 minutes after I rolled out of bed. So I begin reading the paper and on the front page of my daily distribution, The Retail Giant’s competitor is advertising their need for summer employment. I hop on to the internet and apply immediately. I then churn out a resumé for a temp agency that is also hiring. Fingers and toes crossed.

Later Tuesday evening, my parental unit brings home an application for…The Waffle House. They are hiring 3rd-shift servers, and since I live a 3rd shift life anyway, why the hell not. I’m going into my 4th year at my university, set to attain my B.A. by May of next year, and I’m filling out an application that has a test on the back of it asking me to make change when my guest pays with a “five-dollar bill ($5) and the tab is only two dollars and eleven cents ($2.11).” I then sit back and ask myself, what the hell is one more year at college going to change that three years couldn’t or failed to do? How will one more year make me so much more valuable to the working community?

At any rate, I still got to talk to her. She’s sick (sadness), but she’s still able to make me smile. The question still stands: is. it. right?

It’s all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes down
I don’t know where it is, I don’t know when, but I want you around
When it falls into place with you and I, we go from ‘if’ to ‘when’
Your side and mine are both behind it’s indication

it is all up in the air.